Amy Schumer has spoken about the self-gaslighting that can happen in abusive relationships where the victim tries to rationalize the physical violence for the abuser. "I got hurt by 'accident' a lot," she told Oprah in 2018, adding, "It was, he didn't realize how hard he'd grabbed me or shook me or pushed me, and I would fall and hit something, and then I'd be hurt."
The comedian says the gaslighting goes deeper still though. "I would feel bad for him, after he hurt me, about how bad he would feel," she admitted. Schumer went on to put this paradox succinctly, "You don't choose to fall in love with someone who hurts you, and you can be in love with someone who hurts you." Schumer added that she can still picture a time where she was "thrown on the hood of a car," among other violent incidents.
In her memoir, The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo, the comic also recalls she lost her virginity at age 17 to her boyfriend at the time, while she was asleep. She says there was no consent, no discussion, and now considers it rape. It's unclear if these anecdotes are from separate relationships but like many victims, Schumer told Oprah of her own vivid breaking point, where she abruptly fled the scene of abuse, shoes in hand, running through backyards, and "afraid for [her] life."
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